What Scars Are For

This is meant to be an addendum to my last post, in which I bemoaned (hopefully humorously) my colostomy and mentioned a period of time when catching a glimpse of my cancer-scarred body in the mirror transformed me into a puddle of tears. It was hard - I cried in the shower for a few weeks.

But it's been many months, and I've negotiated a tentative peace with my Frankenstein-like body. Plus, I just got the go-ahead from my oncologist to switch out my coconut-like tissue expanders for permanent, soft, normal-feeling implants. This might be TMI (feel free to skip to the next paragraph here), but that means I can finish reconstruction, which includes tattoos to mimic nipples. My plan is for something more creative than the traditional look. After all, if I'm going to get tattoos, I want to make them count! Last night at dinner my husband and I had a good laugh because we were discussing what that might look like and I said, "I've looked at a LOT of boob tattoos." If you know me, you know this is NOT something that ever comes out of my mouth. Cancer takes you out of your boundaries, that's for sure!

ANYWAY, back to scars.

Well, the tattoo is still relevant because I do like the idea of incorporating some script into it. There are lots of possible words, but one currently stands far above the rest: 

STRENGTH

Everyone's cancer journey is different. Thankfully, mine has been pretty empowering, which is why strength comes to mind. I've felt (or maybe taken) a decent measure of control and have felt well enough to accomplish the things that were important to me during treatment. But also, God's strength has carried me through many, many days when my own physical strength was insufficient.

As I was mulling this over, a newly downloaded song came up on my playlist: Mandisa's "What Scars Are For." All I can do is share some of her lyrics with you - they're so powerful, they don't need any editorial comment. Enjoy - and, whether your scars are physical or more figurative, may you be encouraged and reminded of what you've survived and how you've grown stronger. <3

Listen to "What Scars Are For" by Mandisa

These scars aren’t pretty
But they’re a part of me
And will not ever fade away
These marks tell a story
Of me down in the valley
And how You reached in with Your grace
And healed me

They remind me of Your faithfulness
And all You brought me through
They teach me that my brokenness
Is something You can use
They show me where I’ve been and
That I’m not there any more
That’s what scars, that’s what scars are for