Basking in the Glow

My heart is so full, my eyes are overflowing.

Tonight we went out to dinner with our friend-family: three other families with whom we celebrate holidays and go on vacation and just generally choose as our local family.

Our group at Christmas this year (minus my hard-working husband). 

No picture tonight because pictures in restaurants are kind of awkward and usually don't turn out well.

We went out to celebrate a milestone for me: today is exactly five years since I found out I had breast cancer. In a couple months it will also be five years since I found out I have a genetic mutation and ovarian cancer. I had about a 98% chance of surviving breast cancer, but only 39% of women with my stage of ovarian cancer are still alive five years after their diagnosis. And the numbers are worse for people who have recurrences, and I'm on my fourth recurrence. 

So I'm feeling quite triumphant and completely overwhelmed with gratitude that not only am I still surviving, but I'm going to hit all the five year milestones feeling strong and fairly unrestricted after five years of fighting cancer.

Me tonight. I pulled out one of my chemo hats - and it still works!

The scarf was a recent gift from one of these friends - and it works perfectly with the old hat!

Five years ago, this group of mine went to The Rock Woodfire Pizza just before I started chemo. Tonight we went back. They gave me this beautiful clear red glassybaby candleholder:

This glassybaby is named Courage. Which makes it even better. 

My photo is terrible because it's dark and I couldn't wait for better light. 

The framed picture is our group about five years ago on the Oregon Coast. 

There was no question that the perfect place for the new candleholder was next to this picture.

Tonight it was fun to celebrate with our friends.

But my heart is overflowing and I'm a little verclempt because of all they've done for me over the past five years.

They're prayed literally thousands of prayers.
They've mowed our lawn
and walked our dogs.
Filled our freezer with easy-to-prepare meals.
Sold lemonade at the roadside to raise money (the biggest $4.32 I've ever received).
Colored pictures.
Helped me shave my head.
Supplied hats and scarves.
Given me flowers and encouraging cards.
Visited me in the hospital and during chemo.
Cried with me.
Laughed with me.
Complimented me, even when I didn't have eyelashes.
Gave me grace when I needed it.
Scolded me for not giving them bad news in person (I admit I deserved it!).
Graciously put up with me that one time when I completely melted down and couldn't pull myself back together (eek!).
Treated me like a normal person.

They've been my biggest cheerleaders and the foundation of my support team. There's never a doubt that they're available when I need them for emotional or practical support.

I've been blessed with an enormous tribe of people who love and encourage me, but this group is at the center of that tribe and tonight I'm basking in the wonder of what they've done for me over these challenging years.

Tonight I'm also wearing one of my favorite necklaces:

Custom made for me by my fabulous cousin Rachelle Schaar!

Can you see that the longer tag has a big C on it and the smaller tag has a small c on it? This reminds me that "The Big C" is NOT cancer. The Big C is Christ, who is bigger than my cancer, bigger than any circumstances. An obvious accessory choice for this celebration!

Tonight, when my friends were commenting on my courage and inspiration, I fell back on my usual reply when I get this compliment (which I never feel worthy of): I'm just moving forward one step at a time, reminding myself that I choose to trust God, regardless of my circumstances. Sometimes I need that reminder minute by minute! But God is faithful, and my blessings over the past year FAR outweigh the challenges.

He's been so generous to give me this amazing friend-family, and I am so deeply grateful.

My heart overflows.