Sometimes I'm a Little Slow Putting All the Pieces Together...

You know how, sometimes, the same thing comes up from several different sources? How does that happen? Where does it come from?

People explain it differently: coincidence, the Universe sending a message, or, in my case, since I believe in a personal, involved God, I would say those are purposeful, divine promptings. Regardless, the repetition is a call to pay attention and learn something.

Last week, it happened to me.

First, a friend said, "I have no idea how you maintain a positive attitude." Given that my primary challenge is physical (nasty cancer, but currently not detectable) and hers is relational (a huge, complex challenge within her family), I think my struggle is minuscule compared to hers. But I also think we should spend less time comparing and more time loving and supporting. Trials should not be a competition. But that's another post.

Second, my student small group's lesson last week asked "Does following God make life easier?" The standard answer is no: being a Christian is not a magical Get-Out-Of-Trials-Free card. In fact, it can make life more difficult because following Jesus means shedding selfishness and making decisions based on truth rather than feeling. HOWEVER, when I stand on the firm foundation of an unchanging God and his promises, the storm can swirl around me, but I have peace, strength, and joy because I believe there is a divine plan and purpose for those trials. And, since I've been alive for a few decades, I have the luxury of hindsight on several challenges, and I see how I've grown through them and how those experiences have been beneficial to me and to others.

My third source was a sermon (aka lecture on a segment of the Bible, if you're not comfortable with church lingo. And, yes, I'm a dork and listen to podcasts like this instead of pop music. I'm  hopelessly lame when it comes to current music - feel free to give me a flash drive with a playlist if this distresses you!). Anyway, the speaker asked, "Are you safest when you're in the center of God's will?" Well, that depends on how you look at it. If you like planning and control, being in the center of God's would seem like the most unsafe place, because you'd be trusting - and following - God instead of your carefully structured plan. But there's tremendous freedom in letting go of that. I love to make plans! I like to know what's coming next. But MY path through nursing school included staying for several years in a career I no longer enjoyed so I could save the money to go to school. God's plan included me being downsized from my company, starting school earlier, getting contacts and experience in oncology by being a patient, and a dream job that I thought I wouldn't achieve for many more years.

Today is Easter, and this morning I was thinking about this theme of joy and peace and purpose in the midst of suffering, and realized Jesus is the perfect example of this concept. He KNEW exactly what was going to happen on Good Friday, and he fervently asked God if there was another way. But he already knew this was their plan from the beginning of time, and that it ended in victory over death: resurrection. He loves us enough to want to redeem us from the punishment for our sins, and he was willing to endure the unjust trial, the mocking and beating, the painful death, and the separation from God because he knew what it would accomplish: redeeming us from sin, restoring our relationship with God, and demonstrating God's glory and righteousness. His death and resurrection is the climax of God's love story with us.

(While I'm writing this, I'm looking out over my brother's back yard, and two cardinals swept through! They're fairly common in the upper Midwest, but pretty rare in my backyard, so it was a treat to pause and watch the bright red birds flit around. In the midst of trials, little things like that are treats - a mini oasis to pause, enjoy, and give thanks. They are easy to miss if you're not watching.)

Whatever you're going through these days, I wish you peace and purpose, and the presence of mind to find those mini oases. Most of all, may you grow to love and trust God more and more, and see the purpose in your challenge. If you don't have a personal relationship with God, ask me - or anyone! - to tell you more about it. For me, it is why I am positive and upbeat instead of sullen and depressed (truly a possibility! But that is another blog post).

Happy Easter, everyone!

I Mowed The Lawn Today!

Why, you may be wondering, is mowing the lawn worthy of a blog post? Especially after such a long hiatus, you'd think I'd have content that was better than a bad FaceBook post.

You have a very valid point.

But here are some reasons why mowing the lawn makes the cut:

(Did you catch the pun there? You're welcome.)

1) I love mowing the lawn.

2) I haven't mowed the lawn in a few years. Between the ban on inhaling extra bits of nature while having chemo and being fatigued from treatment, Mike took over this chore. And for awhile we spoiled ourselves by hiring someone to mow for us. That was like magic: three guys swept in with their big mower, edger, and muscles, and the yard was done in minutes.

3) We live in the Pacific Northwest. That means it usually rains until late June. Sure, it's lush and green here, but by the time it's dry enough to mow, the grass is brushing our big dogs' bellies. This is another reason why paying someone else to mow was magic: their professional mower could handle our grass, no matter how wet. That still amazes me.

4) Last fall we finally spent the money to put in better drainage. Today: proof it works! Our formerly swampy corner was as dry as the rest of the lawn! Yippee!

5) Our mower worked! This is not a minor thing. We bought it in 1998. By the grace of God and a generous friend who took it for a long overdue tune-up (I was in the hospital after a surgery and he volunteered to mow for us - he was so appalled by the state of our mower, he took it in - on his dime), it still works. But not usually well. There have been summers when I fantasized about parking the mower in the middle of the road and taking few high speed runs at it with our big truck. But today, it sprang to life - On The First Pull! And I cut the whole yard without having to stop and empty the bag. That is no small victory, I tell you!

6) The rocks and the poop our dogs leave all over the yard? I found all but one before I mowed, and I saw the pile of poop I missed before I stepped in it. Always a bonus. This mowing gig is risky business.

7) Finally, perhaps most importantly, I did it. I wasn't in top physical shape (no where near, honestly) BEFORE cancer treatment, and I haven't made a big effort post-treatment to restore what I lost, so I was a little worried about whether my fitness deficits would severely humble me today. But, no! I showed that mower who's boss without a huff or a puff.

So, thank you, Lord, for sunshine when there should have been rain. I'm so happy to be back behind the mower - I think it's going to be a great summer.