Last month I had a CT scan that showed the Lynparza is working! Of the three areas seen on the last scan, one was "no longer detectable" and the other two were "significantly decreased." Hurrah!!! That was a huge answer to prayer, especially after stopping the Lynparza for a couple weeks and then starting again at a lower dose.
The lower dose has been good to me - most of my side effects are gone. Mostly just nausea here and there, and wildly unpredictable fatigue. Like Sunday I was exhausted before I got in the shower, but today I endured an excruciatingly long commute (wasn't everyone supposed to be heading NORTH???), worked overtime, and then walked the dogs, with energy to spare. My blood counts stabilized, too. So thank you for your prayers for me!
I received a call from the pharmacist at the drug company (they touch base with everyone taking this med). She reassured me that they've seen great results even when people reduce their dose. Love that kind of news!
Meanwhile, I'm weighing my options for my medical oncologist. She's supposed to be the quarterback of my treatment team. I chose her after my beloved doctor moved because she has a lot of experience and she's a lovely person. But at our last appointment, she asked me when I wanted to come back for blood draws and to see her. And when I asked about the next scan, she said, "Let's wait and see how things go." Ummm... I am not the quarterback, here, nor do I want to be. Ugh. You are more than welcome to join me in praying for wisdom and direction on that topic!
OK: Now a word about the election.
(Are you rolling your eyes? If you are, that's OK. I'm rolling mine, too. Because there have been So Many words already today. Everything has probably been said a million different ways, so me throwing in my two cents feels a little obnoxious. But I'm doing it anyway: free speech and all of that. And we also have the right to listen or not, so I promise not to be offended if you skip right over this.)
First, a disclaimer. I'm pretty "apolitical" in the sense that politics are usually as far on my periphery as possible. I think politics are mostly a big tangled mess with a little truth buried in there somewhere, and it's not a mess I want to invest any energy into untangling. Is that irresponsible of me? Probably, but I'm over 40 and a cancer survivor, so I've entered that sweet phase in life where I own who I am, flaws and all, even if it's a little embarrassing to admit sometimes.
Alright.
I HATE election season. (Can you call something a season when it lasts a hundred years??) This election has been especially long. It's been like watching a train wreck in slow motion. Are these candidates REALLY the best we can do??
There are some things of value in both platforms. And things of great concern. Many issues are important, but some are deal breakers for me, so that usually makes my decision easy. But this year! Does either candidate have integrity? Are they honest and trustworthy? Do they treat everyone with love and respect, regardless of whether or not they agree? If someone is worthy of leading our country, they should have a strong, consistent, moral character in addition to a good platform.
I know, I know, it's politics, so those are pretty unrealistic expectations. And when Bill Clinton was in office, our country made a pretty strong statement about not caring about our leaders' morality. But still, is it really so hard to find an upstanding citizen??
Because I was so dismayed by our two main choices, I chose to vote for a third party. Some may say I threw away my vote. Maybe. But one candidate doesn't line up with my deal-breaker issues, and the other... there are just so many concerns, I just couldn't do it. So I voted against both main candidates, hoping my third party vote would speak to the need for change and someone different next time.
Being somewhat neutral, knowing "my" candidate was a loooong shot, and believing no result would be a win for America, the election was fascinating. If you take the emotion out of it, it was amazing to watch the votes roll in and see so many states be pretty evenly split. My husband and I watched, on the edge of our seats, with our eyes wide and our mouths hanging open as the numbers turned in Trump's favor. Totally unexpected. (We tuned into BBC's coverage, which was a refreshingly neutral presentation. No drama, no partisan comments, just the data.)
So now what?
I'm not triumphant like some. I'm not in mourning like others. I'm at peace.
Why???
I have a friend who loves history and politics. Someday I hope he pursues his dream to become a teacher, because he'll make those classes really interesting. He watches war movies all day on holidays like Memorial Day and Veteran's Day. (Sounds like torture to me, but I really respect his way of honoring and remembering our history. Actually, HE would be a great candidate...) He says the political pendulum swings one way and then the other, self-correcting in a sense.
Trump is one guy, in a system with a lot of checks and balances, for four years. Which sounds long now, but in the grand scheme of time, even just in the life of our country, that's not too long. I'm irrationally optimistic that Trump might rise to the occasion. Did he ever expect to get here?? I doubt it. I wonder if he was trying to throw the election by being such a jerk. Maybe now he'll apply some filters and stop offending pretty much everyone. (I said irrationally optimistic.) I am very curious about what a businessman will do as president. I've thought for a long time that our country could benefit from a business mindset, rather than a political one. We shall see...
But WAY more than that, I'm at peace because my hope is not in who our president is for the next four years. My hope is in God, who is sovereign over all leaders, over all time. I trust in a long-range plan that spans millennia and has at the heart of it love, justice, and a desire to redeem everyone and everything.
So what am I going to do now?
I'm going to respect Trump as POTUS. (Wow, doesn't that whole sentence sound weird and difficult!)
I'm going to pray more consistently for our leaders and our nation.
I'm going to continue to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with my God.
I'm going to continue to love and respect people and seek to listen and understand them, regardless of whether or not I agree with them.
And I'm going to end with something adorable, because aren't we in need of some fluff???
My dogs, taking a rare break at doggy daycare a couple years ago. PC Scampers DayCamp
My nephew, when he was new. This tops the adorable chart, doesn't it?? PC - not sure, but not me
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