Putting Some Shine in the Season

My still-uncut hair. Gotta pick up that phone and call the stylist one of these days.

BUT it's thinning!!! Boo hoo!!! The doctor said neither of my current chemo drugs would cause hair loss. However, alopecia (fancy term for hair loss) is listed as a side effect for both drugs, and my hair is definitely thinner than it was. At least I started out with pretty thick hair. At this point, I'm hoping I can make it to the end of chemo without having to go back to baldness. Too bad my armpit hair isn't falling out...

In other news...

This might be stating the obvious, but the longer this cancer battle becomes, the harder it is. I'll be honest - today was pretty rotten.

Not because I'm feeling bad physically. I actually walked my dog for 30 minutes today and did some yoga without feeling worn out! This isn't a fitness issue, it's a fatigue thing, which I struggle with accepting because I question whether it's laziness rather than my body betraying me. I'm actually stronger and more flexible than I was several months ago. But I run out of gas too early in the day if I don't pace myself carefully. Cancer fatigue is real - scientifically documented and all that - but that doesn't make it any easier to embrace.

These days, I just feel like I'm falling short in just about every area. Fatigue or not, it seems like I should have things more together.

In an attempt to shake off my funk today, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite Christmas ornaments. You know, spread some Christmas warmth and fuzziness. This is our first year with an artificial tree. I fought it for years, but I LOVE it! No gross water, no worries about it drying out, no needles dropping off, no stringing-of-lights. And it can be up for weeks and weeks! Here's the big-picture view:

Mine is a rustic, hodge-podge tree. No coordinated theme for me! We've got beautiful glass balls right alongside homemade creations and some wacky gift ornaments that came from people I cherish, so they stay, even though they're strange (example: a purple winged creature... horse? dog? dragon? I'm not quite sure).

This first ornament is a little tricky to place because it's so heavy! The photo is from our first Christmas, when we were had fewer years, fewer pounds, and more hair. Still, I think we look better now.

I love the rustic sweetness of the next one. It's painted clay and I bought several for gifts at a craft fair years ago. I had to keep two of them for myself. :)

This one I have to hang where Mike doesn't see it often. It's wacky - I don't know where that blue hair came from! The hair used to be styled well, but I like the unruliness that has come with the passing years. It reminds me of my grandma (because I think it came from her, not because it LOOKS like her!). And it's comforting to have an angel that isn't all pristine white and perfectly coiffed.

This one reminds me of my super crafty auntie. It's so delicate, with its dried flowers and crocheted heart shape, but it has been amazingly durable... I'm sure it's over 20 years old!

This one comes from a set of clay ornaments I made when we were newly married and very poor. They're commonly on my list of ornaments to retire, but each year when I unwrap them, I think they're pretty cool all over again, so they stay.

Ah, this sweet little Scandinavian cutie! I love her. She's a nod to my heritage, surviving the purge of several Ikea ornaments a few years ago.

I should ask my parents why they chose this ornament for me. I was certainly no angel when I was small. Wishful thinking, perhaps. ;)

This star is part of a set of crystal ornaments we received from neighbors. Our original neighbors rented out their home, much to our relief since we had some issues with the owners. The renters were a lovely older couple with whom we developed a close relationship. She gave us this set one Christmas. Since then, they moved away and she died. I like this annual reminder of their big hearts and our friendship.

I have a few ornaments like this Santa that my grandma made for me. She passed away several years ago, and I still miss her. Last night I had a dream that I was able to sit by her bedside and talk to her one more time - it was so real! And I'm missing her afresh today.

Finally, a new treasure, given to me last night by a dear friend's mom.

It's glittery and sparkly, and the sentiment is my wish for myself - and all of us - for this busy season and always. May God's peace find a resting place in our hearts. And make us sparkle.