These Bones Will Sing

I’ll just jump in with updates on my prayer requests from the last post. Please keep going with these!

That these drugs will be effective.

So far, they seem to be! The symptoms that I was having before the CT scan are gone, which is a great sign.

That my blood counts will be minimally effected and recover well.

Well, this is kind of a big problem. A known problem, but bigger than I expected.

Before chemo, my counts were in the normal ranges. Then they plummeted after the second dose of the Gemzar. The most dramatic drop was my platelets (essential for stopping bleeding and forming blood clots). Normal platelet counts are 150-400 (thousand). Before my second dose of Gemzar, they were 110. Ten days later, they were 8. Only eight. We call that a critical low - highlighted in pink, not yellow on the print out, action required urgently. My white blood cells (immune cells) were quite low as well. 

We boosted the platelets to 47 with a transfusion yesterday, and I’m getting a series of shots to stimulate the white cells. We will recheck on Monday, but for sure Tuesday’s big chemo day is canceled. I expect we’ll wait a week while my poor bone marrow pumps out more of all the various blood cells, and then start again with just the Carbo and Avastin and say “Sayonara” to Gemzar. But that’s just my guess - my doctor hasn’t talked to me about anything past getting the blood counts back up.

That we’ll be able to get around my allergy to carboplatin.

The first round was uneventful, probably because it’s been a few years since I’ve had this drug and those immune cells have sort of gone into hibernation. Now that we’ve teased them out of their slumber, we expect a reaction next time. I forgot what a complicated regimen of allergy-suppressing meds we used before to get around the allergy, but my doctor dug it up and I’m ready to go. Fun times ahead.

That these drugs won’t beat me down too much - for strength and energy.

I actually feel BETTER on chemo than I did on the Lynparza! I am amazed. Perhaps in part because I’m not pouring all my energy into working, but your prayers for side effects to be minimal have been VERY effective! I kept waiting for the big crash, but it never came. I have to ration my energy, but that’s do-able since I’m not working. This weekend I am feeling really achy, though. It’s a side effect of the shots to boost my immune system, so at least it’s temporary.

That Mike will have the strength, patience, and peace to walk through this with me.

That our spirits will be encouraged and we will not be discouraged on the tough days.

These two go hand-in-hand. We’ve had some rough patches, mostly related to the headache of working out the details of my leave from work and getting things scheduled. I will spare you the gory details because I’m totally over the frustration. I’m also (finally) definitely switching doctors, so while it adds some extra angst, at least I have a clear direction.

Encouragement abounds from all of you, your sweet comments and prayers and all the things you do to help us out. We are grateful!

Deep Thoughts

Lately, one of my favorite songs is “Great Are You, Lord” by All Sons and Daughters. It’s on my playlist and we sing it often in church. Here are some of my favorite lyrics:

“It’s Your breath in our lungs

So we pour out our praise to You only.”

“All the earth will shout your praise

Our hearts will cry 

These bones will sing

Great are You, Lord.”

[If you haven’t been in a Protestant church in awhile, singing in church is kind of like a karaoke concert, complete with a band on stage, lights, lyrics on screen, and everybody sings. Depending on where you go, there might be some dancing, too. It’s a long way from the organ and hymnals of my youth!]

Anyway, I expect my take away from this song is a little different than most people.

As my bone marrow has struggled to keep up with treatment, the thought of my bones singing praise is hopeful, exciting, and encouraging. 

I think about breath, too. Last fall, when my red cells were so low that my body wasn’t getting the oxygen it needed to do basic things like walk around the block, I lost my breath easily. And when you live with stage 4 cancer, you occasionally contemplate the total number of breaths you have left. Not to be morbid, just a necessary reality that can stimulate more purposeful living, so I see it as a benefit.

When I hear this song, I’’m reminded that all of those breaths, the every day ones and the hard-fought ones, come from God. In a more general sense, I think about the creation stories, where God breathed life into Adam and Eve - and each of us. And I’ve heard that “Yahweh” (a name for God that the Jews wouldn’t even spell completely due to respect and reverence) is thought to be tied into our breath: “yah” when we breathe in and “weh” when we bring out. (Something to contemplate during yoga!)

I am thankful for my breath. I am thankful for my faith and my life. I am working on using my breaths for things that matter, and not spending too many of them on things that don’t. But I still think it’s OK to use some of them to enjoy fluffy things like The Voice and Thin Mints and puns.

Here’s a link to the video if you’d like to listen to the whole song: https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=dss_yset_chr&p=great+are+you+lord+lyrics#id=0&vid=806a23a6d7b2747501eeaae5488db843&action=click

Wishing you grace and peace for your week!