Everything Rides on Faith Somehow

Today's topic: Describe how lyrics from a favorite song inspire you.

I was going to ditch the daily topic again - I'm not very good at following the rules if I think I have a better idea. My brother occasionally reminds me that I made up a game when we were kids that required cheating to win. Is it cheating if it's in the rules? Well, I blame it on genetics because whenever my mom talks about playing games with my grandma, she invariably reminds us that grandma cheated. Just a little bit, some might not call it cheating: kind of a white lie level of manipulating the rules.

Instead, I was going to write about chemo. This blog is, after all, primarily about living through (and in spite of) cancer. But on my way to chemo today, I remembered a lyric that will allow me to do both: 

"Everything rides on hope now; everything rides on faith, somehow."

It's from "Hope Now" by Addison Road.

When I started chemo last year, I decided to make it a party and invite friends to come along and keep me company. I didn't realize how helpful this was until a couple weeks ago. This time around, I'm not getting Benadryl or anything else that interferes with my driving, so I can bring myself. Last time, I came alone. I didn't have any socializing to look forward to, and on the way to chemo I found myself thinking sad cancer thoughts. So I arrived a little tired and bummed out (which my stellar doctor picked up on right away).

Lesson learned! Even if I CAN be independent, it doesn't mean that's the best option for me. Friendships are therapeutic. And right now, with a chemo cocktail that has few side effects, I don't need a lot of help, so I figure I can give my friends a way to help me by inviting them to chemo. Kind of like a coffee date, right?

It's a funny coffee date: they watch the nurse access my port and draw blood, wait while I give a urine sample, listen in on my conversation with the doctor, and then we chat while the pharmacy preps my drugs and while the drugs drip in. At least this time I'm not fighting a Benadryl haze (which I did with super-human success, I might add!).

There's a lot of educated guessing in cancer treatment, and as a patient I gamely cooperate, waiting with somewhat bated breath between CT scans, hoping and wondering if what we're doing is working.

I'm in that space where everything rides on hope and faith. I hope this works and I land in the long-term survivors' circle. I have faith in a good, all-powerful God who has a plan for me. I hope that, whatever the outcome, I can LIVE all my days with grace and purpose, speaking life and encouragement into other people's lives.

It's not so bad, living where everything rides on hope and faith.